Giraffes: Myth or Reality?
by YourPontmercyFriend
Summary: There was a picture going around of a person who looks kind of like Grantaire in a classroom with a PowerPoint slide that said Giraffes: Myth or Reality? Here's a ficlet for it.


"I got an hour long slot in a university classroom to give a lecture," Grantaire had said.

"It'll be great," all of their friends had said.

"I'm so proud of you for doing something so dignified and refined for others at your university and promoting education and I promise to go to your lecture," Enjolras had said.

Then he got there.

Enjolras was wearing his best red dress jacket, had fixed his hair (although let's be real he never needs to improve anything about his looks he's constantly perfect), came prepared with a legal notepad and pens, and was truly ready to have the education experience of a lifetime.

That was exactly what he got, but not what he was expecting.

When he walked in he was met by a room full of college kids in casual clothes all of whom had beverages from Starbucks to Gatorade. He found a place in the front row and glowered at the PowerPoint that was projecting on the board in a room that he couldn't walk right back out of because he gave his word and this was going to be damn proof that his word was worth something.

Giraffes: Myth or Reality?

Next to the projection was Grantaire, the man responsible for this disaster. He was sitting on a wooden stool with a water bottle beside him on the floor like some cheap comedian and was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt with a goddamn beanie on his head.

Enjolras didn't know why the beanie pissed him off so much. It just DID.

"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen," said Grantaire. He smiled at Enjolras and Enjolras managed to only look a little enraged back.

"I'm sure you're wondering why I gathered you all here today," continued Grantaire with a smirk as some people in the room laughed. "We are here to discuss the reality of the possibly government created creatures, giraffa camelopardalis, more commonly known as giraffes. I propose there is reason to believe these animals may not actually exist. The proof? Everything can be faked these days, and money paid to fake so-called eyewitness accounts. I would like anyone here who believes these extraordinary creatures exist to argue with me."

Son of a bitch.

Enjolras raised his hand and said flatly, "I know giraffes exist, professor. Based on reason and proof."

"I don't believe I called on you, but go ahead."

"There is enough proof to determine they exist, and this entire premise is stupid."

"I thought someone might say something like this. However, I have a multitude of infallible arguments to support my view. However, I'm sure that everyone here will not be convinced by them. Arguments that are infallible because they do not rely on logic or proof and merely superstition and denial are invalid but people in this world love making them on things much less ridiculous than the existence of giraffes. Turn to your table partner and the people on the left side should be reasonable about the obvious existence of giraffes and people on the right should pull whatever government conspiracy, asinine bullshit they can pull out of their asses and you'll see what stupidity is firsthand and see if you can break it. Afterwards we'll discuss all the different tactics both of you used and you'll take notes and call it educational. Go."

Enjolras stared at Grantaire and felt betrayed but in a good way. Grantaire sat in the empty seat beside him. "Since you're the odd one out it's my job as the teacher to sit by you and give you a one on one. What'd you think?"

"Impressive. You actually managed to make this worthwhile for these people." Enjolras said it rather grudgingly and Grantaire smiled.

"I got you, didn't I? I saw that look of dismay when you came in. Thought this was all a joke."

Enjolras sighed and allowed himself to smile back. "Yeah. You got me."

Grantaire leaned on Enjolras's desk with a smirk and said, "You know, it kind of hurts to be doubted like that. It's my first time giving a lecture and I could've used some support. You should do something to make it up to me."

Enjolras could tell Grantaire was teasing but he did have a point. He'd be furious if Grantaire had walked in on him doing a lecture and trying to shoot him down. "Will you accept payment in coffee?"

"Yes. As long as we have some guidelines, like no yelling or standing on tables or politics."

"Deal."


End file.
